True Grit

My nine-year-old has been attending classes at an American Ninja Warrior gym for the past three months.  His class focuses on safety, strength, and skill as they work through parkour moves, flips, core exercises, dead hangs, rock wall climbing, jumps, etc.  It is the perfect environment for my constantly-moving, constantly-risking child.  He has a ninja belt made of sturdy white rope to indicate that he is a beginner.  As he accomplishes different skills taught in the class, he earns colored stripes to put on his belt.  Naturally athletic and a quick learner, Mikey earned his first two stripes without much difficulty. It must be noted that the coaches do not readily hand out these stripes.  They must be earned through a lot of hard work and discipline.  

A month or so ago, he began trying to obtain his climbing stripe.  It was a struggle from the beginning.  When following the colored strips of tape all the way up to the top of the wall proved to be a physically and mentally demanding task, Mikey would quit.  After just a few handholds and footholds, he told himself that he couldn't do it, and he dropped to the floor.  I knew he was capable of reaching this goal, but he continued to give up almost instantly every time it was his turn at the wall.  I encouraged him to push through the hard parts and refused to let him walk off the floor and away from the task.  But still he failed, over and over again.  At one class, he was so frustrated and angry that he wanted to quit the class entirely.  I pulled him close to me and reminded him that he had made a commitment to this class and that quitting was not the option we take when things get hard.  He reluctantly went back to his class, but the climbing struggles continued.

Tonight, I took him to his class and stood in the corner as he performed his jumps and flips and other class activities with enthusiasm and ease.  I heard him ask, 'Hey, Coach, are we going to have a chance at the climbing wall today?"  When it came time for him to face the wall, he had a new determination that I had not seen before.  He attempted the first climb and failed.  Undaunted, he moved to the back of the line to wait his turn for another try.  He tackled the obstacle again and again, falling short each time.  I saw the frustration start to build up.  He had made twelve attempts and had not been successful.  The coach suggested he move to a different climbing course.  I heard the discouragement in Mikey's voice as he responded, "I don't know.  I'll probably not make it on that one either." The coach would not take no for an answer, and as Mikey approached the wall, the whole class cheered him on.  (Mom was the loudest cheerleader, of course).  He slowly and methodically made his way from one handhold to another.  When he reached the top of the wall, we all cheered wildly.  The look on his face was one of pride, accomplishment, and determination.  And since we've been home, he's only casually mentioned his new belt stripe a dozen times or so.  

This whole experience got me thinking about grit.  Recently I read a book called Grit in the Classroom: Building Perseverance for Excellence in Today's Students by Laila Y. Sanguras.  The book makes several fascinating arguments for the need for grit in our students.  Psychologist Angela Duckworth defines grit as "passion and perseverance for long-term goals."  The interesting thing about grit is that it does not involve intelligence, luck, talent, or even money.  If a teacher can develop grit in her students (or a parent develop grit in his child), those children will be set up for success in the classroom and in life.  This is fantastic news, but how does one instill grit in a child?  Author Sanguras wrote about many methods in her book, and Angela Duckworth's website is full of information on developing your own grit.  These are both considerable resources that I am still studying and trying to incorporate into my classroom and home.  

With Mikey, I worked with him on the following principles to help him develop grit, especially in this area of ninja fitness.

1)  We emphasized the effort rather than the desired goal.  How much effort did you put into that task?  Are you proud of that effort?  Could you have put more effort into it?

2)  We helped him find his "why" for doing it.  Why should you put all that effort into something?  What are you getting out of it?  How will this help you in the future?

3)  We showed him that there is a good deal of pride in learning how to do something difficult.   How does it feel now that you didn't quit?  Doesn't it feel amazing to not only learn this skill, but master it as well?  

4)  We gave him several examples of grit to observe and copy.  We pointed it out in movies and in books.  We mentioned gritty successful people, both "famous" and familiar.  We did our best to emulate it at home and at work, putting all the effort in and expecting good results that we could be proud of.   

When you get down to the nitty gritty, we all still are works in progress.  Developing a good sense of grit will carry us through the tough obstacles and push us further toward our goals.  It's never too late to get yourself some true grit.